Office “Always the Victim” Vicky — The Colleague Who Suffers More Than Anyone Else (Apparently)

Some people are born leaders. Some are born problem-solvers.
And some — like Office Always-the-Victim Vicky — are born convinced the universe has personally wronged them before they even opened their eyes.

Vicky was a victim as soon as she was born. Even her very first cry apparently wasn’t hunger or confusion — it was everyone else’s fault. The nurse held her wrong. The midwife wasn’t sympathetic enough. The lighting was too bright. Day one, and Vicky already had grievances to file.

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Fast-forward a few decades, and nothing has changed. If something happens in the office, no matter how small, insignificant, or unrelated to her… Vicky will find a way to be the tragic centre of it.

She might look harmless — glasses slightly crooked, cardigan too soft to offend anyone, a permanent expression of wounded confusion — but don’t be fooled. Vicky is silently stockpiling emotional evidence, ready to unleash upon the next unsuspecting colleague.

Below are just a few of the daily catastrophes that trigger Vicky’s waterfall of workplace tears:

• She got missed on the tea round. Cries.
• She couldn’t think of a question to ask in a meeting. Cries.
• Someone spelt her name with an ie instead of a y in an email. Cries.
• She was CC’d when she preferred to be BCC’d. Cries.
• She wasn’t CC’d when she wanted to be. Cries harder.
• Someone used her favourite desk wipe. Cries, then wipes the wipe dispenser.
• A colleague walked past her without smiling. Cries.
• A colleague smiled too much. Cries suspiciously.
• The elevator door closed before she got in. Cries at the injustice.
• The elevator door didn’t close quickly enough. Cries at being held hostage.

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Human Resources, exhausted by years of emotional turbulence, now has a drawer dedicated entirely to Vicky’s “support resources”:

• “We’re Sorry You Feel That Way” cards
• A laminated flowchart titled ‘How To Reassure Vicky Quickly’
• An emergency tissue brick
• A mug with her name already printed to avoid spelling errors
• Three different self-help books she promises to read, but she cries too much to focus on.

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Even the office microwave has seen its fair share of emotional trauma. If someone heats food that smells too “aggressive,” Vicky will insist it was a personal attack. If the microwave beeps too loudly? Another personal attack. If someone stands in front of it while waiting? Definitely malicious intimidation.

Vicky’s victimhood extends far beyond typical office misfortunes. She has claimed to be victimised by:

• The air conditioning being too cold
• The air conditioning being too warm
• The blinds being too open
• The blinds being too closed
• The blinds being partially open, which is apparently “gaslighting”

Her colleagues have started a quiet competition — who can go the longest without unintentionally upsetting Vicky. The current record is 18 minutes, set by a contractor who didn’t know she existed.

But here’s the thing: deep down, Vicky means well. She’s not malicious. She genuinely believes she’s being wronged. Her emotional reactions are real to her, even if they drain the office faster than a broken HVAC.

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And let's be honest — every workplace has a Vicky.
The colleague who absorbs chaos, tears at minor inconveniences, and somehow always manages to be the tragic star of every office saga.

In the grand theatre of corporate life, Vicky’s role is secure.
She is the perpetual victim, the emotional barometer, the walking HR case study — and the absolute heart (and noise) of the office.