Office IT Support Denzil – The Man Who Accidentally Inherited the Whole Infrastructure
Denzil accidentally became the entire IT department after one tiny CV lie. Now he’s buried in tickets, outages, disasters and stress. Meet the man holding the office together with cables and panic.
Meet Denzil, the office’s most unintentionally heroic (and catastrophically overwhelmed) IT “professional.”
When Denzil landed the job, he thought he’d cracked life. He celebrated all night with his family, raised a glass or three, and told everyone he’d finally secured a “proper career in tech.”
What he didn’t check was why the last guy left…
(Clue: he didn’t resign. He ran.)
Fast-forward 12 months, and Denzil is now drowning in:
- Endless IT tickets
- Daily incidents
- Weekly outages
- Monthly disasters
- And a final written warning that HR have laminated, framed, and placed neatly on his desk.
To say Denzil is burnt out would be generous. He’s fully chargrilled. Crispy. The man is one password reset away from spontaneous combustion.
James Mason
The CV Lie That Destroyed a Life
Denzil’s downfall began with one tiny embellishment on his CV.
Instead of the truth — “Has updated a router once and plugged in a printer the wrong way round” — he confidently wrote:
“Infrastructure Architect.”
Classic mistake.
Now he’s responsible for the entire IT estate of the organisation.
The servers?
His problem.
The network?
Also, his problem.
The cloud?
He doesn’t even know where it is.
The last technical thing he did before joining was put a USB stick into his laptop and call it ‘upgrading storage capacity.’
He still tells people that he doubled his RAM.
James Mason
Denzil’s Daily Struggles
Every day is a new chapter in Denzil’s slow corporate decline:
- He has 100+ IT tickets waiting for a response, but still can’t find the “sort by date” button.
- He has three mugs, all with motivational IT sayings — and all heavily stained from stress-brews.
- He carries around a disturbingly tangled cable bundle like it’s a newborn child.
- Colleagues call him for things that aren’t even IT-related:
“Denzil, my lunch isn’t heating up. Is it the Wi-Fi?”
Even worse, he’s convinced the cracked monitor in his accessories pack was working “last Tuesday.”
James Mason
The Breaking Point
Denzil now jumps every time someone says:
- “My Teams isn’t working…”
- “The printer has jammed again…”
- “Can you just pop over for five minutes…”
- “I’ve forgotten my password…”
- “We’re going live today — should be straightforward, right?”
His smartwatch records each day as:
Stress Level: Catastrophic. Steps Taken: Mostly running to the server room.
He hasn’t taken a real lunch break since his first week.
He hasn’t slept properly since the first major incident.
He hasn’t felt joy since he realised the “previous infrastructure architect” left the country.
Why We Love Denzil
Despite all the chaos, Denzil is trying his best. His best just… happens to be absolutely nowhere near enough.
But he’s part of the office family now.
The colleague who keeps everything sort of working.
The guy who holds the entire organisation together — with tape, prayer and outdated drivers.
And let’s be honest:
We’ve all worked with a Denzil.
Some of us are Denzil.
