The Broken Arrow

The employee who couldn't hit a target if you painted it on the office wall... yet somehow can never be fired.

"There are good employees. There are bad employees. Then there are the Broken Arrows... the corporate mystery that has baffled organisations for decades."

What Is A Broken Arrow?

A Broken Arrow isn't simply bad at their job.

That would be too easy.

A Broken Arrow represents a fascinating corporate phenomenon whereby an employee appears completely immune to the normal laws of employment.

Projects fail.

Customers complain.

Deadlines are missed.

Processes collapse.

Managers come and go.

Entire departments are restructured.

Yet...

The Broken Arrow remains.

Like a cockroach after nuclear winter.

Nobody Knows Why They're Still Here

Every office has theories.

Some believe they're secretly related to a senior executive.

Others insist they once saved the company twenty years ago and nobody has had the heart to move them since.

Some are convinced they possess ancient knowledge buried somewhere inside an old filing cabinet.

The conspiracy theorists claim they've accumulated so much historical information that removing them would collapse the business entirely.

More sensible colleagues simply shrug and say:

"I genuinely don't think HR knows they still work here."

Whatever the truth...

They survive every:

• Redundancy programme
• Performance review
• Restructure
• Budget cut
• Department merger
• Capability assessment
• Management change

It's almost supernatural.

Their Daily Routine

08:57 - Arrives looking incredibly busy.

09:04 - Coffee.

09:47 - Creates an unexpected problem.

10:15 - Someone else fixes it.

11:00 - Explains why the issue wasn't their fault.

12:00 - Lunch.

14:30 - Accidentally creates another incident.

15:00 - Suggests a meeting.

16:45 - Leaves while everyone else finishes the work.

Signs You've Found One

✔ Every task requires assistance.

✔ Every mistake somehow becomes a team problem.

✔ Nobody has ever seen them complete a project independently.

✔ They always have an excuse.

✔ They know exactly when to disappear.

✔ Every manager quietly gives up.

✔ New starters outperform them within a week.

✔ They somehow become the person training new employees.

Their Special Powers

Corporate Invincibility

Nothing sticks.

Not complaints.

Not failed projects.

Not missed deadlines.

Not annual reviews.

Selective Visibility

Senior leadership never seems to witness the chaos.

They're always in another meeting.

On annual leave.

Working remotely.

"Helping another department."

Remarkable timing.

Responsibility Deflection

Every sentence begins with:

• "I wasn't told..."
• "Nobody explained..."
• "That's not really my responsibility..."
• "I thought someone else was doing it."

Legendary Survival

Entire leadership teams disappear.

New CEOs arrive.

Departments relocate.

Systems are replaced.

Office buildings close.

The Broken Arrow changes desks.

Favourite Office Phrases

"That's how we've always done it."

"Nobody told me."

"Can someone just check this?"

"I've been really busy."

"I'll have a look tomorrow."

"It wasn't working when I got it."

Office Mythology

There are many legends surrounding the Broken Arrow.

Some say powerful friends protect them.

Some say they're related to somebody important.

Some say they know where every organisational skeleton is buried.

Others believe they're simply living proof that if you survive long enough, people stop asking questions.

Nobody has ever produced evidence for any of these theories.

But nobody has managed to explain why they're still there either.

Office Bantomime Verdict

Unlike ordinary underperformers, the Broken Arrow has evolved.

They no longer survive because of performance.

They survive because they've become part of the furniture.

Removing them would feel like knocking down a historic building.

Nobody wants the paperwork.

Nobody wants the awkward conversation.

And secretly...

Everyone wants to see if they can survive one more restructuring.

Corporate Danger Rating

🎯 Accuracy: ☆☆☆☆☆

📈 Productivity: ★☆☆☆☆

🛡️ Job Security: ★★★★★

☕ Coffee Consumption: ★★★★★

🎭 Entertainment Value: ★★★★★