Meet Office Two-Faced Tara – The Co-Worker With Two Settings: Sweet or Snake
Two-Faced Tara can’t be trusted. Sweet to your face, savage behind your back, she’ll use you, praise you, then throw you under the bus before you’ve finished your morning coffee.
Have you ever worked with someone who can compliment your shoes, praise your hard work, and tear your entire reputation to shreds — all before lunch?
Meet Office Two-Faced Tara.
A master of contradiction, a champion of strategic smiling, and quite possibly the most dangerous creature in the workplace ecosystem.
Two-Faced Tara simply cannot be trusted. One day, she’s your work bestie, hyping you up, calling you “amazing,” and tagging you in inspirational LinkedIn quotes. The next day, she had shoved you under the office bus so fast you didn’t even feel the wheels go over you.
This is a woman with no emotional speed bumps.
James Mason
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Why Tara Is the Most Dangerous Person in the Office
✔ Two personalities depending on the audience
Friendly to your face. Catastrophic behind your back.
She’ll tell you your presentation was “brilliant”, then tell the manager it was “deeply concerning.”
✔ Ambition disguised as empathy
Tara is only interested in success — her success — and is more than happy to use the backs of others as stepping stones to her next “personal achievement.”
✔ The ultimate user
She’ll lean on you for favours, support, emotional labour, and gossip intel…
Then feed you to the office tigers the moment you’re no longer useful.
✔ Rumours? She spreads them like wildfire
If you’ve made one mistake in your whole career, Tara will log it, timestamp it, file it alphabetically, and ensure it’s mentioned in conversations it had no business being in.
✔ Fake nice is her default setting
If she needs you, she’ll talk well of you — oh yes — she’ll be your biggest fan.
Until the exact second, it benefits her to cut the strings and float away like the toxic helium balloon she is.
James Mason
Additional Hilarious Traits to Add to the Legend of Two-Faced Tara
• She keeps two mugs on her desk:
One says “Team Player”
The other says “Office Snake” — and she swaps them depending on who’s walking past.
• Her smile has levels:
Level 1 – polite
Level 2 – suspiciously flattering
Level 3 – “Oh god, she’s gathering intel”
Level 4 – run.
• She remembers everyone’s secrets… and weaponises them for sport.
• She compliments your new haircut while texting someone else about how awful it looks.
• She only uses the phrase “Just looking out for you!” when she’s about to completely ruin your day.
• Her gossip mode has settings:
Gently, Sneakily, Brutally… and Gossip Mode MAX, where no one is safe.
Final Thought
Working with Two-Faced Tara is like shaking hands with someone wearing a joy buzzer — you know something shocking is coming, you just don’t know when.
Be polite. Be cautious. And above all…
Never let her hear you breathe.
She’ll turn it into a rumour.
James Mason
