Bullshitter Blake: The Office Bragger Whose Stories Never Add Up
Bullshitter Blake claims to have climbed Everest, worked for Warner Brothers, and performed a Mission Impossible stunt. The truth? No one can confirm any of it.
Every workplace has a storyteller.
Someone whose achievements grow larger with every conversation.
Someone who claims to have lived three lifetimes’ worth of adventures before the age of forty-five.
In your office…
That person is Bullshitter Blake.
Blake’s Ever-Growing List of Achievements
According to Blake, his life reads like the biography of a global action hero.
Depending on the day, Blake has:
• Completed a parachute jump over the Alps
• Climbed Mount Everest
• Worked as a senior director at companies like Warner Brothers and Microsoft
• Managed multiple million-pound projects with ease
• Owned a vintage Aston Martin sitting proudly in his garage
The details change slightly every time he tells the story.
But the theme remains the same.
Blake is always remarkably impressive.
The Mission Impossible Claim
Blake’s favourite story involves his alleged connection to Hollywood.
He claims that during a visit to a film set, he was asked to perform one of the stunts on a Mission Impossible film as a stand-in for Tom Cruise.
He often follows this story with:
“Tom’s a great bloke, actually.”
The truth?
Blake once drove past a film set and thought he saw Tom Cruise from the car window.
His grandmother was in the passenger seat.
Blake’s Career… Apparently
Blake frequently mentions his former roles in global corporations.
Warner Brothers.
Microsoft.
Several mysterious consulting firms.
He speaks confidently about boardroom strategy, international deals, and executive leadership.
However, there is one small issue.
His résumé doesn’t quite add up.
HR have quietly begun reviewing some of the claims.
One of Blake’s professional references…
Doesn’t exist.
The Performance Review
During his one-to-one meetings, Blake presents impressive statistics about his performance.
Sales figures.
Growth metrics.
Strategic wins.
The numbers sound remarkable.
The only problem is that no one can quite work out where the numbers came from.
Most colleagues suspect they were invented somewhere between the meeting room and Blake’s imagination.
The Personal Life According to Blake
Blake’s stories don’t stop at his career.
He frequently claims to have:
• Travelled the world extensively
• Slept with more women than he can remember
• Owned luxury cars and property
And yet somehow…
Blake is currently single and living with his grandmother.
What Does Blake Actually Do?
This remains one of the great mysteries of the organisation.
Blake attends meetings.
He contributes enthusiastically.
He tells impressive stories.
But if you ask colleagues what Blake’s actual job is…
No one is entirely sure.
🚩 Red Flags: Bullshitter Blake
If these behaviours sound familiar, you may have a Blake in your office.
🚩 Every story becomes more impressive over time
The details change slightly every time Blake tells it.
🚩 His achievements seem strangely unbelievable
Everest climbs and Hollywood stunt work tend to raise eyebrows.
🚩 His résumé contains questionable claims
HR may already be quietly investigating.
🚩 His statistics never quite match reality
Performance numbers appear from thin air.
🚩 He claims powerful connections everywhere
Hollywood actors, CEOs, and global executives all seem to know Blake.
🚩 Nobody actually understands his role
Despite attending many meetings, his job remains unclear.
What’s Actually Going On (The Psychology)
Characters like Blake are surprisingly common in workplaces.
Exaggeration often comes from a desire to appear more impressive, more successful, or more interesting.
Over time, small embellishments can grow into elaborate personal mythologies.
In Blake’s case, the stories have become so large that they now operate in their own alternate reality.
The fascinating part?
Blake appears to believe many of them himself.
7 Signs You Work With a Bullshitter Blake
- Their stories become more dramatic every week
- Their career history sounds suspiciously extraordinary
- They claim personal connections to famous people
- Their achievements are difficult to verify
- Their performance statistics seem unusually convenient
- Coworkers exchange knowing looks during conversations
- HR has quietly started asking questions
How to Deal With a Bullshitter Blake
Working with someone like Blake can be entertaining, but occasionally exhausting.
A few strategies can help.
1. Enjoy the storytelling
Sometimes Blake’s stories are simply part of the office entertainment.
2. Don’t challenge every claim
Debating every exaggeration can become a full-time job.
3. Focus on verifiable work
When performance matters, stick to documented results.
4. Let HR handle the résumé issues.
That’s exactly what they’re there for.
Final Thoughts
Bullshitter Blake may not have climbed Everest.
He probably didn’t perform a stunt on Mission Impossible.
And that vintage Aston Martin might exist only in conversation.
But in Blake’s mind…
His life story is still being written.
In fact, he’s already mentioned that one day he plans to make his own movie.
And naturally…
He’ll be playing the lead role.
Frequently Asked Questions About Bullshitter Blake
What is a Bullshitter Blake in the workplace?
A Bullshitter Blake is a coworker who constantly exaggerates their achievements, career history, and personal experiences. Their stories often grow larger over time and are rarely verifiable.
Why do some coworkers exaggerate their achievements?
People sometimes exaggerate to appear more successful, experienced, or impressive. In workplace environments, this can become a way to gain attention or status among colleagues.
How can you tell if a coworker is exaggerating?
Common signs include constantly changing details, unrealistic achievements, unverifiable references, and stories that become more impressive every time they are told.
Should you confront someone who exaggerates at work?
In most cases, it’s best to focus on work performance rather than personal claims. If exaggerations affect professional credibility or hiring processes, HR may need to investigate.
James Mason
James Mason
James Mason
James Mason
