Office Wannabe Young Wayne: The Colleague Who Refuses to Age
Meet Young Wayne — the office colleague who refuses to age, sits with Gen Z, references 80s TV shows, and believes a Fortnite pass makes him young again. Workplace embarrassment guaranteed.
James Mason
There’s always one in every office.
Not the intern.
Not the graduate.
Not even the mid-life-crisis cyclist.
It’s Wayne.
Wayne insists he’s “still young at heart”, despite the fact that his colleagues openly refer to him as “67” — not as an insult, but as a helpful point of reference.
Meet Office Wannabe: Young Wayne — the man who wants to stay relevant, no matter how uncomfortable it makes everyone else.
Who Is Young Wayne?
Young Wayne is the colleague who refuses to accept that time has moved on — even though everything else has.
He wears trainers in the office.
He sits with Gen Z “to stay current”.
He owns an Xbox Fortnite pass and thinks this alone grants him entry into youth culture.
It doesn’t.
Wayne believes relevance is something you claim loudly, rather than something that happens naturally. Unfortunately, this belief fuels most of his interactions.
James Mason
The “67” Situation
Wayne does not like the number 67.
He insists it’s “just a number”, “out of context”, and “not how old he feels”.
His colleagues disagree.
To them, 67 is not an age — it’s a warning label.
It explains the references.
It explains the stories.
It explains why everyone suddenly needs headphones when Wayne joins the conversation.
Why Wayne Is Always Around (And Why That’s a Problem)
Wayne has an incredible ability to appear wherever discomfort is brewing.
He’s there:
- When younger colleagues are discussing current TV shows
- When music is mentioned
- When gaming comes up
- When absolutely nobody asked for historical context
He pulls up a chair.
He leans in.
He begins with: “This reminds me of…”
It never does.
James Mason
Wayne vs Gen Z
Wayne makes a point of sitting with Gen Z workers at lunch.
They make a point of slowly relocating.
He asks about TikTok.
He references Fortnite.
He nods knowingly at words he does not understand.
The Gen Z workers smile politely, while quietly reassessing their seating arrangements for tomorrow.
Wayne believes proximity equals acceptance.
Gen Z believes in escape routes.
The TV References That Won’t Die
Wayne thinks mentioning classic TV shows makes him relatable.
He will say things like:
- “You probably won’t remember this, but Knight Rider…”
- “Back in the day, The A-Team would’ve sorted this.”
- “This reminds me of Airwolf.”
These references land with all the impact of a fax machine in a Slack channel.
Wayne mistakes nostalgia for relevance — and refuses to stop explaining the plot.
James Mason
Why It’s So Embarrassing
The real issue isn’t Wayne’s age.
It’s his commitment to pretending it doesn’t exist.
Watching Wayne try to stay relevant is like watching someone dance to music that stopped playing five minutes ago — enthusiastically, confidently, and without shame.
Everyone sees it.
No one says anything.
HR pretends not to notice.
Accessories Included
Every Office Wannabe: Young Wayne comes with:
- Backwards cap (for credibility)
- Fortnite pass (unused skill boost)
- Phone full of apps he doesn’t understand
- Camera for documenting “content”
- Notebook titled “How To Look Cool (Fast)”
- Absolute confidence that he’s “still got it”
He does not.
Final Thoughts
Wayne wants to stay relevant.
The office wants him to age gracefully.
Until then, he will continue to hover, reference, sit too close, and remind everyone that youth is not transferable.
And somewhere in the office, someone will quietly say:
“Here comes 67.”
More Office Archetypes Incoming
If you’ve worked with a Young Wayne, you already know the damage.
More Office Bantomime archetypes are on the way — because the workplace is full of characters who should never be allowed near an Xbox, TikTok, or Gen Z seating area.
