The Rise of the Slopey-Shouldered Employee in the Age of AI and Automation
Slopey-shouldered employees are multiplying, hiding behind AI and automation to dodge responsibility. Can the army of slopey workers ever be stopped, or are we doomed to carry their load?
The Rise of the Slopey-Shouldered Employee in the Age of AI and Automation
I wrote a blog some time back about coworkers with slopey shoulders and how to handle them when they refuse to help.
That post struck a nerve because this irritating phenomenon plagues businesses across the globe. Sadly, I can confirm things aren’t improving. In fact, they’ve got worse.
Guess what these slopey-shouldered parasites have gone and done now?
They’ve created AI.
Yes, you read that right. They’ve literally built an answer to all their prayers. Artificial Intelligence has become the next poor victim to inherit all the tasks that slopey-shouldered employees have no desire to carry out themselves.
The Rise of the Slopey in the Age of Automation
Once upon a time, slopey shoulders just dumped their workload on you, the nearest intern, or whichever unlucky soul passed by their desk. Now, they’ve discovered something far more powerful: automation.
The modern slopey employee doesn’t just shirk responsibility—they outsource it to ChatGPT, project management bots, workflow automations, and “digital assistants” that never complain, never push back, and never roll their eyes.
It’s only hit me now: it wasn’t the Knights Templar, the Fabian Society, or even some new world order pulling the strings all along. It was the slopey shoulder movement. They probably have a secret Slack channel, complete with GIFs and emojis, dedicated to passing the buck.
For centuries, slopey-shouldered workers have been dodging accountability while allowing others to pick up the pieces. Now, thanks to AI, they’ve created the ultimate tool to make sure they never need to carry responsibility again.
Why the Slopey Shoulder Phenomenon Is Increasing
- More tools to hide behind: With every new automation platform, slopey shoulders see a fresh opportunity to shift tasks elsewhere.
- Remote work cover: In hybrid settings, you can’t see them shrugging off responsibility—they just disappear into a muted Teams call.
- AI excuses: “Oh, the AI must have made a mistake” is the new “Wasn’t me.”
- Endless delegation culture: Some offices now resemble pyramids of slopey shoulders, where every task tumbles down until it lands on the one poor person still willing to do actual work.
The Modern Army of Slopey-Shouldered Archetypes
Today’s workplace has no shortage of new slopey characters. A few you might recognise:
- The AI Whisperer – Knows nothing about AI, but constantly forwards tasks to it like a priest at the altar.
- The Forwarder – Reads an email, adds zero input, and simply forwards it to you with “thoughts?”
- The Meeting Houdini – Joins calls on mute, camera off, then slithers away at the exact moment responsibility is assigned.
- The Process Parrot – Shouts “That’s not my process!” whenever asked to help.
- The Copy-Paste Hero – Their main skill is dropping someone else’s slide deck into a new template and calling it a day.
- The Ghost Collaborator – Has their name all over the project, but somehow never contributes more than a single bullet point.
James Mason
The Many Faces of Slopey Shoulders in the Workplace
Slopey-shouldered employees don’t just exist — they thrive in specific roles. Some jobs are practically built for passing the buck, and here’s the hall of fame:
1. The Delegator-in-Chief (Middle Manager)
Specialises in spreading tasks around like butter on toast. If you’re looking for them during crunch time, they’ll be in a “strategy call.”
2. The Timeline Tactician (Project Manager)
Loves Gantt charts, hates responsibility. If a project derails, it’s always because someone else “didn’t deliver their piece.”
3. The Escalation Artist (IT Support Tier 1)
Can escalate a ticket faster than broadband speed. Their job description might as well read: “Your problem is someone else’s problem.”
4. The Policy Parrot (HR Business Partner)
Whenever you ask for help, they quote HR policy and tell you to “take it up with your manager.” Basically, a human bounce-back email.
5. The Budget Blocker (Finance Analyst)
They don’t say “no,” they say: “It’s not in the budget.” Translation: “Not my problem.”
6. The Blame Shifter (Marketing Executive)
Campaign failed? Must be Sales’ fault. Engagement dropped? Clearly, the “market wasn’t ready.” Rarely, if ever, theirs.
7. The Paperwork Ping-Ponger (Procurement Officer)
Lives for signatures and forms. Always knows which department you really need to talk to (spoiler: it’s not them).
8. The Legal Limbo Master (Legal Counsel)
Nothing is ever their call — it’s always “for compliance to decide.” They hold the world record for saying “we can’t advise on that” while sipping coffee.
9. The Supply Dodger (Operations Manager)
Suppliers late? IT’s fault. Delivery broken? Procurement’s fault. Basically anyone’s fault but operations.
10. The Gatekeeper (Executive Assistant)
Experts at saying, “I’ll check with the boss,” which is slopey code for: “This is now your problem, not mine.”
11. The Change Dodger (IT Change Manager)
(Yes, even me 🙋♂️.) When things go wrong, I can always point to CAB, risk assessment, or “the business needs to approve it.” It’s slopey shouldering with official documentation!
James Mason
Can the Army of Slopey Shoulders Ever Be Stopped?
Here’s the terrifying thought: maybe not. As long as workplaces reward visibility over accountability, slopey shoulders will thrive. They’ve adapted with the times—from “Sorry, that’s above my pay grade” to “Ask AI”—and will no doubt evolve again when the next tool comes along.
So what’s left for the rest of us? Humour. Calling them out. And perhaps, creating our own counter-movement: people with square shoulders who actually carry the load (but also know when to throw a little of it back).
Because if we don’t? The slopey shoulder species may one day outnumber us all. And when that day comes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Future of Slopey Shoulders” Prediction
By 2030, slopey shoulders won’t attend meetings at all — their AI avatars will shrug on their behalf.
By 2040, scientists predict slopey shoulders will evolve into actual sloped anatomy, making it physically impossible to carry responsibility.
James Mason
The Greatest Slopey Shoulders in History
If you think slopey-shouldered employees are a modern workplace plague, think again. History is full of professional buck-passers who perfected the art long before HR policies and AI excuses. Here are some of the greatest slopey shoulders of all time:
1. Pontius Pilate – The Original Buck-Passer
When faced with making a tough call, he literally washed his hands of the matter and left it for the crowd to decide. That hand-washing move might as well be the international logo for slopey shoulders.
2. Neville Chamberlain – The Appeaser
Waving his piece of paper with “peace in our time,” Chamberlain’s strategy was the ultimate slopey-shouldered manoeuvre: look confident, pass the responsibility forward, and hope someone else deals with the fallout.
3. Julius Caesar’s Senate – The Collective Shrug
No single assassin wanted to carry the weight, so they all took a stab. Quite literally. The Senate perfected the group project slopey shoulder, where everyone does “just enough” so no one takes the blame.
4. Marie Antoinette (allegedly) – The Cake Commenter
Told that her people had no bread, she supposedly replied, “Let them eat cake.” Whether she said it or not, it’s gone down in history as one of the slopey-est shrugs of responsibility ever recorded.
5. The Medieval Court Jester – The Professional Deflector
Every bad joke, every insult, every slip-up? Brushed off with: “Don’t blame me, I’m just the jester!” Entire careers were built on avoiding accountability while hiding behind humour. (Sounds like some of your colleagues, doesn’t it?)
6. Every Corporate CEO Post-Scandal – The Bonus Keeper
The modern evolution of slopey shoulders. Their catchphrase? “Mistakes were made.” Translation: “I’m still keeping my bonus, but someone else is going under the bus.”
👉 Proof that slopey shoulders aren’t new — they’ve been dodging accountability for centuries. The only difference is that today they’ve got AI, automation, and a remote mute button to help them.
“Who’s the slopey shoulder in your office? (Don’t name names — unless you’re feeling brave). Drop your slopey stories in the comments.”
"If you missed my original rant about slopey shoulders, you can read it here - Spoiler: things have only got worse.”
The Office Bantomime Team
