How to Make Networking Marginally Less Awful for Introverts

Ah, yes, networking. That delightful corporate ritual where strangers gather in air-conditioned rooms, armed with flimsy name badges, watery coffee, and an unshakable determination to say, “So, what do you do?” fifty times in a row.

For extroverts, it’s a buffet of opportunity. For introverts, it’s a hostage situation with free canapés.

But fear not, dear office hermit. With a few survival tactics, you can make networking marginally less awful—and maybe even leave without crying in the hotel bathroom.

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Office BantomimeJames Mason

1. Lower the Bar (No, Not the Bar with the Prosecco)

Forget the fantasy of “working the room.” Your job is not to meet everyone. Your job is to meet one person who doesn’t make you want to fake a fire alarm to escape. That’s a win.

2. Prepare Your “Networking Scripts”

Because nothing screams panic like standing in silence while someone waits for you to say literally anything. Keep a few safe lines handy, such as:

• “What brings you here?”
• “How’s the free food?”
• “Wow, this air-con is… something.”

Why do some co-workers choose to extend a meeting longer than they need to?

Is it because they irritate people and have nothing better to do than make foolish inquiries? It’s a Friday afternoon, and you’re in a meeting with your coworkers about a new project that you don’t care about. Your plans include taking the train home, taking a shower, and going out

Office BantomimeThe Office Bantomime Team

3. Pick Your Battlefield Wisely

Not all networking events are created equal. Giant conference halls? Torture. Smaller roundtables or Virtual meet-ups? Slightly less torture. Online groups? Beautiful—networking in pyjamas while eating crisps. That’s the dream.

4. Use the Introvert Superpower: Nodding

Listen more than you talk. People love the sound of their own voice. Just nod occasionally, throw in a “That’s fascinating,” and boom—you’re the most charming person they’ve ever met.

5. Master the Irish Goodbye (or the Polite Version)

Conversations don’t need to drag on until your soul leaves your body. Try:

• “I won’t take more of your time, but let’s connect on LinkedIn.”
• “Lovely chatting—just going to grab another drink.”
• “Excuse me, I think the free quiche is calling.”

6. Outsource Networking to the Internet

LinkedIn, Slack groups, and corporate WhatsApp chats are where the real magic happens. Nobody needs to see your clammy handshake online. Plus, you can rewrite your witty reply three times before hitting send.

7. Reward Yourself Like a Hero

Survived the event without hyperventilating in the toilets? Treat yourself. Pizza, Netflix, or just collapsing into bed like you’ve run a marathon. Because honestly, you kind of have.

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Office BantomimeThe Office Bantomime Team

Final Word

Networking will always be awkward. It’s speed dating with less romance and more lanyards. But with a bit of prep, a few polite exits, and the knowledge that most people are just as uncomfortable as you, you can make it marginally less awful.

And hey—if all else fails, remember: someone has to guard the buffet.