How to Handle a Coworker Who Acts Like the Boss (Without Losing Your Cool)
Dealing with a coworker who acts like they’re your boss? Learn how to spot the signs, understand their behaviour, and respond professionally without losing your cool—or your place in the team.
Don’t you just hate it when someone at the same level as you decides they’re suddenly in charge?
We’ve all worked with that colleague—the one who oversteps, overtalks, and overrides. Whether they’re trying to micromanage your every move or take credit for team initiatives, these self-appointed leaders can turn a good workplace into a frustrating environment.
Introduction
The biggest challenge in doing your job well isn’t always the workload—it’s the workplace dynamics. And one of the most aggravating dynamics is dealing with a coworker who acts like they’re the boss.
You were both hired at the same level, with no managerial authority, yet here they are—issuing directives, correcting your work, and even contradicting instructions from actual leadership.
While constructive feedback from colleagues is often valuable and welcomed, there’s a way to give input that’s collaborative rather than controlling.
When someone persistently undermines others, it's a sign of a deeper problem: a lack of respect and a hunger for power they haven’t earned.
Worse still is when this person begins undermining their actual boss, trying to steer the entire team as if they hold the reins.
They may have valuable insights and a strong skillset, but that doesn’t justify stepping out of line. Authority needs to be respected, not assumed.
James Mason
Common Signs Someone Thinks They’re the Boss
Watch for these red flags in meetings, project work, and day-to-day interactions:
- Interrupting your comments or feedback in meetings
- Completing tasks that were specifically assigned to someone else
- Hogging major team priorities and volunteering for every lead role
- Making passive-aggressive suggestions on how you can improve your work
- Frequently dominating conversations and undermining others' contributions
- Using a patronising tone or language when addressing colleagues
- Acting with entitlement and displaying narcissistic tendencies
- Taking credit for shared achievements
- Making decisions on behalf of the team without consulting anyone
- Creating cliques or inner circles to push their own agenda
Why Are Certain Individuals Convinced They’re the Boss?
It’s often a mix of insecurity, ambition, and a desire for control. Here are a few psychological or situational reasons someone might adopt this "mini-manager" mindset:
- Past experience in leadership roles: They may have held a managerial title in a previous job and haven’t adjusted to their current peer status.
- Low self-awareness: They genuinely don’t realise how their behaviour comes across.
- Poor leadership from actual managers: In the absence of strong guidance, some step in to fill the vacuum.
- Insecurity masked as confidence: Acting superior is sometimes a defence mechanism for people who feel threatened or inadequate.
- Career ambition: They believe taking control will fast-track their progression, even if it comes at the expense of others.
- Personal validation: They equate being in charge with feeling important or valued.
James Mason
How To Deal With the “Non-Boss” Employee
Dealing with this situation requires balance, professionalism, and confidence. Here’s how you can address it based on your role and relationship with the individual:
1. If They’re Your Peer
- Report and Document Specific Incidents: Keep a log of situations where they’ve crossed the line. It’s helpful to reference facts rather than feelings.
- Speak With Your Manager: If the behaviour is impacting your work or team morale, raise it with your line manager. Frame it around team performance, not personal grievances.
- Tell Them How It Is Politely: If the issue isn’t too frequent, consider addressing it directly. A calm but firm statement like “Thanks, I’ve got this covered, but I’ll reach out if I need support” can do wonders.
- Avoid Public Confrontation: Always choose private, professional conversations over open criticism.
2. If You’re Their Manager
- Reaffirm the Hierarchy: It’s your responsibility to establish clear boundaries. Make sure roles and responsibilities are understood and respected.
- Offer Leadership Development—Properly: If they’re eager to lead, consider mentoring them or offering opportunities that align with their ambition—but on your terms.
- Use 1:1s Effectively: Give regular feedback, highlighting both the overstepping behaviours and the correct path to take if they truly want to progress.
- Redirect Team Authority: Publicly recognise and support the contributions of others to shift the power dynamic away from the “non-boss.”
Final Thoughts
Workplace harmony hinges on mutual respect, not imaginary hierarchies. Someone acting like they’re the boss when they’re not can disrupt team performance, create resentment, and even impact performance.
The good news? With the right response—whether through setting personal restrictions or escalating to leadership—this behaviour can be addressed. And if handled with professionalism and clarity, it can even turn into an opportunity for someone to grow into a real leader.
