Office Archetypes

Meet Office Mug Thief Mandy: The Colleague Who’ll Steal Your Coffee Cup and Smile About It

Mandy is friendly, helpful, and a total mug thief. From Dave’s favourite cup to yours, nothing is safe when she’s making coffee. Here’s why every office has a Mug Thief Mandy.

by James Mason

Updated September 24, 2025

Action figure in yellow packaging of “Office Mug Thief Mandy,” a middle-aged office worker smiling while holding a stolen mug labeled “Dave,” with extra coffee mugs shown as accessories.

Introduction

Every office has one—the phantom menace of the staff kitchen.

You go in, ready to pour yourself a well-earned coffee, only to find your favourite mug—gone. Vanished. Swallowed by the office Bermuda Triangle.

That’s no accident. That’s Office Mug Thief Mandy at work.

Who Is Office Mug Thief Mandy?

Mandy is the middle-aged, cheerful colleague who smiles warmly at you in the corridor and asks about your weekend. She’ll even help you fix a dodgy printer jam or cover the phones while you grab lunch. But beneath that pleasant exterior lurks an unstoppable compulsion: the urge to steal mugs.

And not just any mugs. Your mug. Dave’s mug. The one with the slogan “World’s Best Co-Worker” or that sentimental Christmas gift from 2017. If you’ve ever thought, “I swear this place eats mugs,”—no, it’s just Mandy.

☕ ALERT: Mug Thief Mandy has been spotted near the office kitchen!

Common Traits of Office Mug Thief Mandy

She has never, ever owned up to stealing a mug (even though everyone knows).
She takes them home,She too. Especially Dave’s. Poor Dave has been reduced to drinking out of a chipped promotional cup from 2003.
She makes coffee very often. The higher her caffeine levels, the greater the chance your favourite mug will mysteriously disappear.
Pleasant in person. She’ll chat about Bake Off or the weather, but don’t be fooled—while you’re distracted, your ceramic is already halfway into her handbag.
It’s a compulsion. Does she know what she’s doing? Of course she does. Does she care? Absolutely not.
Shops are off-limits. She won’t steal mugs from retail shelves—too risky. It’s much easier to raid the office stash where the CCTV never points.

Should Mandy Face Discipline?

Well, yes. It’s technically theft. HR could write her up, Facilities could issue a ban, and Security could frisk her at the exit. But will they? No. Because she’s “such a nice lady” and “always makes the best tea rounds.”

Ask Dave, though—he’d press charges tomorrow.

🎲 Which Archetype Are You Stuck With Next?

How to Survive Office Mug Thief Mandy

Lock up your mug. A desk drawer with a key works wonders.
Decoy mugs. Leave a hideous one out (think “World’s Best Taxidermist”)—she’ll grab it, and your real one stays safe.
Go disposable. Not eco-friendly, but it’s either that or explaining to guests why you’re sipping out of a “Property of Pam” mug at home.
Name and shame. Stick passive-aggressive notes in the kitchen: “If you see Mandy with this mug, please report to Dave.”

Final Thoughts

Mandy is part colleague, part kleptomaniac, part walking ceramic graveyard. She’s friendly, helpful, and oddly proud of her mismatched mug collection—but if you value your coffee cup, keep it chained to your desk.

Because when it comes to mugs, Office Mug Thief Mandy doesn’t borrow—
She takes.