Meet Office Ignorant Ian: HR’s Favourite Repeat Offender
Office Ignorant Ian: the “I’m not racist, but” colleague. Smug, outdated, and forever rolling his eyes at diversity while stacking up HR warnings like trading cards.
Introduction
Every workplace has its dinosaurs. Not the harmless “still uses a BlackBerry” kind — but the kind that makes you wish HR had an eject button on Teams.
That’s Office Ignorant Ian.
Middle-aged, smug, suit as outdated as his opinions, and always one comment away from another formal warning.
Who Is Office Ignorant Ian?
Ian is the colleague who:
- Opens his mouth with the phrase: “I’m not being racist, but…” (Spoiler: he is).
- Drops “just a joke” remarks that aren’t jokes at all.
- Rolls his eyes at any mention of diversity, inclusion, or reform.
- Believes HR policies are “too woke” — while simultaneously being their most loyal repeat customer.
- Complains that the world has changed… without realising that’s literally the point of progress.
- Thinks the Diversity Course was written just to target him. (He clicked through it in eight minutes flat and still failed the quiz.)
- Is somehow always there when HR does “refresher training,” because yes, Ian, this one is for you.
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Accessories (Included in Packaging)
- HR Warning Letter – pre-signed and filed under “again.”
- Mandatory Diversity Course Certificate – completed but with multiple “Are you sure?” pop-ups along the way.
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Survival Tips
- Keep receipts – if he says it, write it down. HR will love you.
- Do not debate – he thinks “logic” is a talk radio phone-in.
- Redirect – a quick “Have you spoken to HR?” works like garlic to a vampire.
- Humour is your shield – nothing winds Ian up more than not being taken seriously.
- Escalate – sometimes the only cure for Ignorant Ian is daylight and an HR cc.
Final Thought
Office Ignorant Ian is proof that the workplace still has fossils that need cataloguing. He’s not edgy. He’s not funny. He’s just Exhibit A in the museum of Why HR Still Has a Job.
If only we could leave him in his plastic blister pack, labelled:
“For training purposes only.”
