Lunch Thief Linda: The Office Tupperware Bandit
Lunch Thief Linda is the office’s silent predator of Tupperware. She’ll process your expenses with a smile but steal your lunch with even bigger joy. Guard your sandwiches — Linda strikes fast.
Lunch Thief Linda: The Office’s Silent Predator of Tupperware
Did you really think labelling your Tupperware container would act as an iron lock and chain? Think again. Lunch Thief Linda strikes again — and guess what? She’s taken your lunch.
The weirdest part? No one has actually seen her do it. Not once. Yet somehow, everyone knows. It’s like office folklore: if your lunch mysteriously vanishes, Linda’s fingerprints are all over it (probably along with crumbs).
Where the Evidence Lies
Empty Tupperware boxes seem to be dumped in different bins around the organisation — stairwells, kitchens on random floors, even the disabled toilet waste bin. Like a twisted treasure hunt, except the prize is your missing chicken tikka.
James Mason
Who is Lunch Thief Linda?
Linda is a lovely, joyful lady who works in finance. She’ll process your expenses in record time, slip that sweet reimbursement into your bank account, and smile while doing it. But make no mistake — the price you pay isn’t in receipts or signatures. It’s in sandwiches, pasta, curries, and yesterday’s homemade lasagna.
Motive: Forgetfulness or Thrill-Seeking?
Does she actually care about stealing your lunch, or does she just “forget” her own and can’t help herself? Maybe. But deep down, we suspect it’s the thrill. The adrenaline hit of cracking open someone else’s labelled container. The buzz of eating Dan’s spaghetti bolognese while he sulks through a pack of crisps from the vending machine.
James Mason
Linda’s Partners in Crime
It gets worse. Rumour has it she’s best friends with Mandy, the Mug Stealer. Together, they’re the Bonnie and Clyde of the office kitchen — Mandy nicks your favourite motivational mug, and Linda makes sure you’ve got nothing to put in it anyway.
Tell-Tale Signs You’ve Been Hit by Linda
- Your tuna salad has mysteriously vanished, but there’s a fork in the sink.
- Someone says, “Smells nice, doesn’t it?” …and it smells suspiciously like your lunch.
- Linda suddenly looks very full in the 2 p.m. meeting.
- She compliments you on your cooking, but you’ve never actually cooked for her.
The Linda Survival Guide
- Double-box your food: decoy Tupperware filled with plain lettuce, real lunch hidden in your desk drawer.
- Write fake names: no one will risk eating something labelled “Steve’s Fasting Experiment” or “Brenda’s Gut Cleanse.”
- Start charging expenses for your stolen lunches — and let Linda process them.
Final Thoughts on Linda
On the surface, Lunch Thief Linda is sunshine in a blouse, high heels, and finance spreadsheets. But in the break room? She’s the shadow that looms over your meal prep.
So, guard your sandwiches closely — because no matter how securely you label them, Linda’s already sharpening her fork.
