Introduction

Every office has one: the colleague who treats Microsoft Teams like their personal stage… except the mic is never on. Enter Mute-Button Meena — the action figure nobody asked for, but every meeting seems to include.

She’s a masterclass in enthusiastic hand gestures, flawless lip-syncing, and twenty-minute monologues that only she can hear. Meanwhile, the rest of the team is left squinting at their screens, mouthing “You’re on mute” like desperate fish gasping for air.

Who Is Mute-Button Meena?

• Every meeting is the same: Meena joins, launches into a passionate speech, and forgets her mute button exists.
• Message her in the chat? No good. She’s still talking.
• Wave your arms back and forth on camera? She waves back — but carries on oblivious.
• Her colleagues’ bingo card: “You’re on mute” is always the free square.
• Her grand finale: finally unmuting, only to ask, “Can you hear me now?” …as if the last ten minutes never happened.

Meet Office Dead-End Darren: The Man Who Quit Mentally but Still Logs In

Always miserable, never leaves, and lives to complain. Meet Office Dead-End Darren—the workplace lifer stuck in a loop of failed promotions, grumbled greetings, and daily threats to quit.

Office BantomimeJames Mason

Extra Traits That Make Meena Unforgettable

• Believes Teams has a personal vendetta against her microphone.
• Owns a high-tech headset but still uses her laptop mic “because it’s easier.”
• Shouts “Can you hear me?” at the screen like it’s Alexa.
• Will passionately defend her point — the one nobody heard — hours later via email.
• Thinks “Ctrl+Shift+M” is advanced coding, not a mute shortcut.

How to Deal With Mute-Button Meena

• Accept defeat: put “You’re on mute” on a sticky note and hold it up like a protest sign.
• Or better yet, pre-record yourself mouthing it and play it on loop.
• Worst case? Switch off your camera, sit back, and let her TED Talk-to-nowhere run its course.

How She Survives the Office

Meena thrives on pure confidence. In her world, she’s delivered groundbreaking strategies and motivational speeches. In reality? She’s the corporate mime artist nobody paid for.

But hey — at least she’s consistent. Every meeting needs filler, right?