Meet the Office Dinosaur: The Coworker Who Hates Change (and Email)

🦖 Meet the Office Dinosaur: Every Workplace Has One

From the satirical series: Office Action Heroes (and Villains)
"Change is something this individual doesn't take too lightly. Don’t waste your time suggesting they update their phone."

Introduction

Every office has one. They're suspicious of cloud storage, allergic to Slack, and think Excel macros are cutting-edge. Meet the Office Dinosaur — the prehistoric presence who’s been doing it their way since Windows 95. They resist every new process, roll their eyes at transformation initiatives, and long for the golden days of fax machines, pagers, and good old Tippex.

👀 Everyone, tread carefully...

Who Is the Office Dinosaur?

The Office Dinosaur is the cranky cornerstone of outdated workplace thinking. Part sarcastic sitcom character, part HR nightmare, they’re a blend of passive aggression, emotional unavailability, and denial about the passage of time.

Common Traits:

• Has been in the organisation longer than the furniture
• Grumpy and generally unapproachable
• Often mistaken for being rude, but they're not correcting you
• Hoards knowledge like it's the 1980s
• Resists change with the force of a thousand policy memos
• Opposes new methods, tools, and technology
• Prefers repetition over innovation
• Fondly remembers Windows XP... and wants it back
• Perpetually at war with Microsoft Office updates

Why Every Office Has (At Least) One

They may have started with good intentions, but somewhere between the fax machine and the fourth restructuring, they became... immovable.

Here's why they stick around:

• They are the history of the company—every office needs a memory (even if it’s grumpy)
• They avoid change like it’s a phishing email
• They’ve built invisible walls—others just learn to work around them
• Their routine is predictable, which some managers mistake for stability
• They don't ask for promotions, raises, or challenges—just their desk and their time capsule tech
• They’ve learned to survive re-orgs, layoffs, and four different CEOs by simply never changing
• They remind leadership that someone remembers when the office kitchen didn’t exist
• They’re often left alone—because engaging feels like poking a bear with a stylus

🧷 Surviving the Office Dinosaur: What Actually Works

The Office Dinosaur might not be malicious—they're just deeply entrenched in their comfort zone. Here’s how to work around, not against, them:

✅ Pick Your Battles – Not everything needs changing. If it's not mission-critical, let it slide.

✅ Respect Their History – They've likely seen systems, managers, and fads come and go. A little respect for their tenure can go a long way.

✅ Be Tactful with Suggestions – Avoid direct critiques. Try: “Hey, I found a quicker way to do this—want me to show you?” instead of “You're doing it wrong.”

✅ Use Workarounds – Sometimes it’s easier to adjust your workflow than force them to change theirs. Sad but true.

✅ Find Common Ground – They may resist modern tools, but love a reliable process. Frame new ideas in terms of consistency and efficiency.

✅ Keep Communication Clear and Simple – Avoid jargon, hype, or tech-speak. Focus on outcomes.

✅ Watch the Timing – Monday morning is not the time to pitch change. Try post-lunch, or after a small win.

✅ Build Alliances Elsewhere – If collaboration is tough, strengthen ties with more adaptive colleagues to balance the dynamic.

✅ Don’t Expect Enthusiasm – A lack of excitement doesn’t mean they’re blocking you—it’s just their resting business face.

✅ Focus on Patience, Not Permission – Do your thing. Let your results speak louder than their complaints.

🗣️ Share Your Office Dinosaur Sightings

Know one? Work with one?
Or... be honest... are you one? 😬

👉 Drop your most jaw-dropping #WorkplaceAbsurdities moments in the comments or tag @OfficeBantomime.

Let’s call them out—one dinosaur action figure at a time.