"10 Irritating Coworkers In The Workplace We Know So Well"

The Office Bantomime Team -

Welcome to the fascinating realm of office politics, where regular heroes—or perhaps we should say oddball coworkers—make our 9 to 5 commutes memorable. We're about to begin on an exciting exploration of 10 of the strangest people who live at work in this blog article. These fascinating characters, like 'Goldfish' and 'Credit Card' among others, keep the office drama going strong.

1) The Broken Arrow

"No use, and can't be fired."

Meet the ultimate job security master - The Broken Arrow. This coworker manages to defy gravity by keeping their job despite consistently delivering their worst performance. The only plausible explanations for their survival within the organisation are:

  • Being closely related to a high-ranking company figure.
  • Holding some mysterious leverage over their immediate manager.
  • Mastering the art of camouflage, convincing top brass that they're the real MVP while secretly spreading chaos and inefficiency."

2) Pot Noodle

"Thinks every job should take two minutes."

Say hello to the workplace speedster, 'Pot Noodle.' Whether they're your boss or team leader, they firmly believe that everything can be wrapped up in a mere two minutes. Their deadlines are mission impossible, and although there's zero proof they can actually pull it off in two minutes, you'll need to be at the top of your game to match their pace. Beware, as 'Pot Noodle' has a knack for turning your daily tasks into heart-pounding sprints."

3) G-Spot

"You can never find them, especially in a crisis."

Meet the grandmaster of disappearing acts, 'G-Spot.' When the going gets tough in the business, she can always be counted on to be nowhere in sight. Get ready, as they are more likely to throw you under the bus than to lend a helping hand. If they are the go-to person for handling crises, you'll either discover them out of the office or indulging in an extended lunch break, shopping for the trendiest fashion accessories."

4) The Wicket Keeper

Gloved Up and Ready to Duck and Dodge!"

Prepare to be initially impressed by 'The Wicket Keeper' as they show boundless enthusiasm for diving into new projects and tasks. But when crunch time hits, get ready for a barrage of creative excuses explaining why they can't follow through. Whether it's sheer laziness or a severe shortage of confidence, 'The Wicket Keeper' is a time-wasting roadblock that can seriously impede any organisation striving for a culture of productivity."

5) Backpack

"Has to be constantly carried."

Prepare to be burdened by 'Backpack,' a coworker who's the equivalent of deadweight, making every workday a tiresome ordeal for their colleagues. No task is too simple for them to bungle, and they lack the enthusiasm that 'Backpack' somehow manages to avoid. In meetings, they're the masters of mindless vacancy, asking repetitive questions, and their work routinely requires a complete redo or rigorous review just to ensure it's even remotely productive or, at the very least, mistake-free."

6) Wheelbarrow

"Only works when pushed."

Get ready for the ultimate workplace challenge – 'Wheelbarrow.' This coworker is an ongoing nightmare, demanding constant supervision and a push in the right direction, or they'll veer off into a realm of nonsense and unrelated activities. It's like they were once a productivity dynamo in a previous life, but something has caused them to transform into a 'react-only-when-chased' work employee."

7) The Goldfish

"Doesn't Remember a thing"

Meet the enigma of the office, 'The Goldfish.' After an impressive eight-year stint in the organisation, this coworker still can't seem to remember a thing. From passwords to people's names, basic processes, operating the printer, and even consistently flubbing the company's name on phone calls – it's all part of the show. Be aware as the team constantly juggles their work, putting on smiles while offering unwavering support for 'The Goldfish' epic memory lapses."

8) Credit Card

"Takes credit for everyone else's work."

Beware of the master of all office malevolence, 'Credit Card.' Imagine You've poured your heart and soul into an urgent project, and just when you're ready to bask in the glory, Credit Card swoops in and claims all the credit. This ubiquitous character exists in many organisations, wielding the uncanny ability to charm the right folks into thinking they're productivity incarnate, all thanks to other people's hard work. It's clear they lack skills of their own and have no choice but to hijack your well-deserved credit at every turn."

9) Sick Note


"Rarely enters the office"

Enter the world of 'Sick Note'- an employee who's perfected the art of prolonged absence. It's baffling how they manage to hold onto their job, as they're frequently 'ill' and these ailments seem to strike suddenly, despite sprinting around the office in good health the day before. With every unscheduled absence, the burden of their work falls on their colleagues' shoulders, igniting smouldering resentment as they grapple with their own heavy workloads."

10) Almost

"Almost, but never quite."

This coworker consistently teeters on the brink of achievement but never quite crosses the finish line. Their ambition starts strong, yet it's a tale of constant near-misses and ultimate letdowns. They do make it to meetings but are always fashionably late. They almost craft a plan for projects or tasks, but it never quite reaches fruition. When it comes to collecting funds for someone's farewell, their contributions are just a few pennies short of meaningful. If you're competing with them for a job promotion, your chances are practically guaranteed, as they'll almost, but not quite make the grade."